Surgeon did not have good news
First off, I have to say one thing about the surgeon, he is honest. I appreciate honest, but I didn’t like what he had to say. I came in with my list of 20 questions, ready to ask them, but Dr Aronsohn said he first would tell me what he had to say about it and maybe that would cover a lot of the questions up front.
He told that when he looked at Charmer’s mass last week, he said to Dr Dibernardi that it was an aggressive mass. He told me what I already, unfortunately, know about malignant melanoma, that it is a very aggressive kind of cancer that usually spreads to other parts of the body.
I asked him if he had removed this kind of mass in the back of the mouth. He told me that he had, but not of the same kind of cancer, but ones that were slow growing. He said that what Charmer needed was a way for his body to fight off the cancer that would grow back or appear else where.
I asked him if this were his dog, would he do the surgery. He told me with a solemn face that no, he would not. I then asked him what would he do for his dog? He said he would put his dog down.
I asked him he didn’t think he could remove it? He said if it had invaded his eye socket and some other area I can’t remember, that it would be inoperable. He said only a cat scan would tell him that. But he commented that he could visibly see the tumor from where he was.
He said if it was not in those places, he could do the surgery. But he said that even when they remove tumors totally, they appear again, elsewhere, or in the same place, that metastasis part.
I told him then that Charmer was to participate in a University of Wisconsin trial for a melanoma vaccine that got the immune system working. I told him that it worked for 40% of the dogs, that I was looking to buy Charmer 3 to 6 months without the tumor to see if he would be one of those dogs that responded.
I told him, however, that the vaccines take 1 to 2 months to work, if they are. So a dog needs to have the tumor small enough or under control, so the dog can live long enough for the immune system to work, if it will.
I told him I understood that it would grow back, but I was looking to get him extra time, but right now he wouldn’t have it with the tumor the size it was now.
He asked me when I first saw the tumor and I told him the day before Christmas it was the size of a grain of rice. He made a face of surprise and said, a grain of rice?
I then told him how I first thought he had a tooth infection and that the vet had instead said no it was a tumor. I told him then how I had scheduled a biopsy, and after the biopsy that Dr Dibernardi said we had to wait 2 weeks before beginning the radiation.
Now that got a surprised look from him. He asked me why we had to wait, as if that was odd and not the thing to do that could have cost Charmer precious time.
I said that the oncologist said Charmer had to wait 2 weeks for his biopsy to heal because the radiation would interfere with healing. It seemed to me that Dr Aronsohn was not buying that, but said nothing else.
I asked him how much a ct scan would cost, while thinking to myself that I had read another person had written online that it had cost them $1500 to have a ct done on their dog.
He said $1000 as that included anesthesia. He said if they did the cat scan and found that it was not invasive they then could proceed with the surgery. I asked him if doing it with the surgery then would reduce the anesthesia cost in the surgery quote he gave me. He told me that the anesthesia was billed per hour and that Charmer, if he was a candidate for the surgery, would be under 3 hours of anesthesia from doing the cat scan to the surgery itself.
He told me he would call after the cat scan results to let me know the situation. If it shows invasion then no surgery. And he said I would then talk to Dr Dibernardi.
Wow… Before he had come in I had said prayers to give me nerves of steel, but as I sat there feeling a panic attack trying to come on, I didn’t feel any steeling of my nerves. So either heaven was out to lunch at my request time, or I needed a lot higher dose of nerve steeling than God had sent down.
If Charmer didn’t look at me with such life in his eyes and happiness as he enjoyed barking at the dogs in the reception room, it would be easier to euthanize him if it came to that. But the image of his precious face looking at me, cute as can be, with his little head with the shape of the top of a small heart, and his beautiful little gleaming almond shaped black eyes, makes it seem criminal to snuff his life out. Even when I think of the bleeding mass in his mouth.
I have already written to a few people before I posted here, and I was encouraged to at least go through the ct scan. I feel that way too, as even if the worse news came, at least I can live on with the clear conscious that I tried my best, and I know for certainty nothing more could be done, without having dragged Charmer on some painful losing treatment schedule.
I ask for anyone reading this now to please say a prayer for Charmer, for some miracle to occur that he does not have invasive filtration. And I am also going to put in some prayers requests to some prayer warriors on that note. I am not going to take this sitting down, to fight the good fight.